Written by Shmuel Williams
Modern western culture has relegated the institution of traditional marriage to nothing more than an expensive get together for the middle classes. They have divested the institution of marriage of its status and power in order to promote other alternative life choices as being equal. This is not to criticise other individuals who have opted for an alternative way of life, this is their choice to make and every human being should be afforded full respect and dignity. We seek not to make any issue with those who have an alternative way of life but just to celebrate and reinvigorate the institution of traditional marriage within our community as an essential key building block in our spiritual awakening and rectification.
It is paramount to recognise that our community has suffered the most degeneration and spiritual decline in places where marriage has virtually disappeared. This is not to say that the decline in marriage is the sole factor for this as a situation is far more complex than just one factor but, there is a correlation between those Hebrew groups who still practice marriage and have relative social mobility and spiritual health and those that do not practice marriage and continued spiritual degeneration.
A ceremony of marriage alone does not fix a complex and deep-rooted problem and there is no suggestion that the ceremony alone can be the magic bullet needed to fix the individuals who themselves are spiritually unhealthy. But, we have to suggest that it is an essential building block that can help to promote the conditions and environment which are conducive to spiritual repair and elevation. The very mindset that demands marriage as a prerequisite to having children is a mind that takes the spiritual and social health of their offspring and their community very serious. This type of mind demands, that at a very vulnerable time, it wants security for myself and my children. It is also saying that my offspring and I are important enough to require that someone who wants to produce children with me must invest not just biologically but, mentally, spiritually and financially. This then sets apart the difference between the modern western idea of love and the traditional understanding of love. The modern western understanding talks of love in terms of romantic and sexual feelings which does not have to have any substance or even longevity; while the traditional concept of love is based on commitment, duty and forbearing, all things which are required to create stability for the fruits of that marriage. Modern western love is about a self-fulfilling experience, while traditional love promotes selflessness and giving.
The creation of a healthy individual begins not at birth but at the point an individual begins to search for a spouse. Spiritual health starts with the environment into which a child is born. It is the environment that shapes a mind and creates and promotes good behaviour lasting into adulthood. The most influential factors in that environment will be the parents and their responses towards the child and each other. So, spiritually healthy parents will more than likely create a spiritually healthy environment for their children. Thus it becomes an imperative to seek out a good partner in the very serious adventure of raising children.
Many at this point will want to talk about money and finances and the pressure on the modern household as an insurmountable reason why it is virtually impossible for Hebrew individuals to create well functioning families. They will also try to derail the discourse by wanting to make the point that being in an Anglo-Saxon western society we have suffered and continue to suffer unparalleled racism and discrimination. Let us assume both these assertions to be true and without question. It is suggested that even if they are true and everyone accepts them as objective truth the case that they then prevent Hebrews from developing themselves and their offspring in a spiritually healthy way can still not be made. Spiritual health is about how one responds and manages his or her energy and efforts within their environment to benefit themselves and others. Those factors alone can’t explain why when a person is looking for a partner they couldn’t look for a person who is responsible and has values that reflect spiritual health. In fact those very factors should be a reason why you should hunt out marriage partners who are going be the most committed to you and your offspring not less or not caring what type of character they have. That argument is similar to one who is about to be hit by a hurricane saying, “well, I have the weakest house in the village so let me stand outside in the open until it passes.” This logic is old and broken and has been the apology for the last 50 years. It is suggested,that, the opposite is true and even more urgent that we build within ourselves and our homes a moral and character building environmentthat will promote spiritual health because this is something that will add to our protection in an inclement situation not make us more vulnerable.
You find the majority of those who apologise for our situation are usually the ones who do not want to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions that may not have resulted in an ideal outcome or may want to protect,from criticism, members of their own family or friends who have not made the best life choices. The situation does not get better by not taking responsibility for the things we had power over, nor does it get better by getting upset when these painful things are pointed out. We must try to always keep in mind that the aim is not to humiliate or vilify individuals or groups of people but to repair and heal ourselves by looking at the power we do have over our destiny and making the changes within that realm first. No one forces you to sleep with anyone or choose a partner who is irresponsible and not care for their own offspring. No one forces you to create a life with a person of bad character or who is a bad role model for your children and no one forces you to have children outside of marriage, we do that, we make those bad choices. And, if we can make those choices we can make different ones, choices that benefit us rather than perpetuate our degenerated, sick spiritual state. But, just because we have very big challenges it does not mean we should not face those challenges head on especially when we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
In Africa and Asia there is abject poverty but in those same societies you have great nobility and spiritually healthy individuals. So, money and lack of employment is not a deal breaker within a group trying to better itself. It also cannot be a lack of access to education either because many of the countries in Africa and Asia have vast swathes of their populations that are uneducated but their actions and behaviour is spiritually healthy. You find that they do not make decisions that result in their situation degenerating. You will find that marriage is still the norm and the family unit is still regarded as a hallmark of one’s commitment to the community. The exceptions would be those areas that have become westernised and adopted those values. In these areas we find the same results and social breakdown as any other western city or capital.
The argument mentioned as the ultimate reason why we can never return to spiritual health and make the correct choices in our own lives is due to the mass kidnap of our people from the continent of Africa and the enslavement in the West Indies and the Americas. I have never understood why this fact should mean that in 2016 we are not able to make the correct choices now for our own benefit and security. Again, I would appeal to the same logic as applied to the hurricane example above. We are in the most urgent need of help and security therefore it would make more sense to come to the opposite conclusion. We are in most need of spiritual repair therefore we should be making the choices that benefit and help ourselves to do so and not making any choices that run counter to that nor hinder that in any way.
If I am discriminated against then, I should not then help my oppressor to oppress myself more. The oppressor’s goal is to see my downfall then I should do whatever is in my power to uplift and protect my position, if you follow the eternal victim logic. Surely, the very act of making the correct life choices that benefit you and your offspring are acts of defiance in liberating your mind and self from the grip and will of the oppressor.
Also for the slavery argument to hold water those who put it forward as a valid reason rather than an excuse have to show that since slavery was abolished none of our ancestors got married in any significant numbers. This we all know is not the historical truth, the overwhelming majority of the inhabitants of the West Indians and Americans were devout Christians and practiced marriage. In the West Indian examples marriage was the norm. Even when those who had migrated to Europe and America they continued to get married. It was only in the second generation and third generation that marriage collapsed. So, at best this is a recent phenomenon and has more to do with the social and political conditions present in Europe and specifically Britain. It is no doubt that the family unit was put under tremendous pressure by attacking the individuals within marriage psychologically. But, it is the response to this attack that must now be examined to see if lessons can be learned and how we can develop healthy responses rather than destructive reactions.
Our plight and story is unique but that doesn’t mean and it can never mean we cannot develop new responses to environmental factors. We should have more belief in ourselves. To imply that we cannot change our situation now because of the past is to say we are not capable. Maybe there are those that believe we are not able to change our situation but it is suggested that it is this mind-set and way of thinking that is as much of an oppressor to us as those who actually do mean to do us harm.
Our History is thousands of years old and slavery was a very small part of that history and we would do better to remember that. It does not define us and it is not the sum total of our identity. For those who carry the victim mentality I can see why this would supply them with a very comfortable blanket to shield them from inquiries of why they have not made the right choices for themselves and a great resource of excuses. But, this is the real difference between those that seek to do better and those that have bought into the oppressor’s view of us as being no more than failures. Indeed, everyone is entitled to their view but please do not claim to be speaking for all of us because in reality you are speaking for and describing yourself not the collective.
Our unique experience should be a source of power not a source of continued apology for our individual destructive choices. The very fact that we made it through this event should provide us with the mental and spiritual resource to succeed in any given circumstances regardless of how difficult or challenging.
What is Marriage and how will it help?
Marriage essentially is an exchange of promises by a couple in order to create a safe and stable emotional environment in which to raise children and generate mental and spiritual strength for its members. It is for the mutual benefit of both parties, both male and female. Any undertaking that will have an impact on the lives of people who have joined together will almost always be bound in a contract of some kind to protect the parties in the event of a breach or failure to act. The person who is willing to make such promises in front of witnesses is someone who the other party can take as being someone very committed and serious to the situation or undertaking. This is not to say that marriages do not break down, they do all the time. But, this is more to do with the character and moral decline of people living in the west and its societies. There is a massive disinvestment in the family unit and an almost impossible situation is placed upon it to function in the onslaught on family values. Our community needs to understand that even though nothing is guaranteed forever the couples and communities still committing to marriage still have a higher community success and social mobility. So, with that said the members of our community are more than willing to have sex with anyone and get pregnant with anyone without any regard to the quality of the person they are undertaking this misadventure. This type of behaviour sends the unequivocal messages to everyone else that we do not respect or value ourselves and therefore the result is we are then not treated with respect or valued. If this is not patently obvious to those that behave in this manner then, it becomes clear why they feel so aggrieved when they are treated in the way they project to the world.
If you are not bothering to demand those things from a sexual partner, who will, at the minimum, help you raise any child that results from that encounter then why would you be surprised when he or she does walk away from you and leaves you with the baby not giving you support either financially or emotionally or, even prepared to invest his or her time. There is a direct correlation between the investment in finding a good partner and the outcome of the relationship. If you didn’t look for a man with a good character, morals and excellent fatherly qualities then why did you get upset when he didn’t display those qualities. This defies logic and has to be addressed. Aspirations and expectations need to be lifted in order to generate an awareness in the young that actions have consequences and that actions are generated by our state of mind. The majority of our young seem to be completely unconscious of the relationship between their collective life choices and the state of Hebrews as a collective. The equation is very simple:
Healthy individuals make healthy couples and healthy couples make healthy families and healthy families make a healthy and strong community.
Our young are acutely aware of their position, as a collective, in society and are conscious of the fact that they are looked down upon. They are also very aware that we are the only people who do not have a functioning community. They are also aware that they are always the ones who remain on the outside when they reach a certain age. All the other children from different communities begin to get serious economically and socially. It is about this time our children become even more aware that they are on the outside of the greater community structure with their faces pressed hard against the windows of the collective society. It is usually at this point they realise they do not have a stake in society and as a result feel resentment towards authority and the society as a whole. It is then with this cocktail of disenfranchisement and a lack of self-worth in the very same society our young begin not to care about the norms or rules of a society that they believe has turned its back on them.
It must be our task to re-educate our youth in the direct link between the state of us as a collective and the simple but tragic choices we make as individuals. The choices we make that affect the strength and health of the collective should be seen as a crime against the collective because the impact of such choices go beyond the individuals. We must make them see and understand that their decisions concerning their lifestyle will either contribute to maintaining the status quo or to changing it. If this link can be established in their minds they will be more ready to make the correct choices for themselves and thus be doing their bit to improve the health of the collective.